Intersectional Diversity: The ‘Double Rainbow’ of Autism and LGBTQIA+
Charlie Hart, also known as ‘Ausome Charlie’ (she/they), is a popular keynote speaker, an experienced Human Resources Analyst, and an influential neurodiversity advocate.
Charlie is multiple neurodivergent (Autistic, ADHD, Complex PTSD), bisexual/pansexual, and gender non-conforming.
The ‘double rainbow’
Studies show that autistic people are far more likely to identify as not heterosexual and not cisgender, compared with the general population.
The autistic spectrum and the LGBTQIA+ spectrum both use rainbow imagery, for example in the gay pride flag and the rainbow infinity symbol for neurodiversity acceptance.
Neurodiversity and neurodivergence
Human brains are collectively neurodiverse, not just people with neurodevelopmental differences such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and dyspraxia. Each human brain is unique, and neurodiversity is a concept acknowledging this, how we each have different ways of thinking, feeling, and processing; yes even ‘neurotypical’ brains.
Diversity, including neurodiversity, can be considering advantageous to human populations, just as biodiversity is advantageous to ecosystems.
An autistic person may refer to themselves as ‘neurodivergent’, which means our brains think, feel, and process differently from the societally-perceived ‘typical’.
Not all autistic people are gifted or have a ‘superpower’. One of my talents is my highly detailed visual and auditory long-term memory, which is both a blessing and a curse. It is tremendously helpful to me in my role as HR Analyst, and wonderful for remembering dearly departed relatives and reflecting on happy memories, but I have seen and heard traumatic things that I would rather not recall so vividly.
Are neurodivergent people less concerned with social norms and more likely to identify as LGBTQ+?
I have never been one to conform to societal norms to fit in. For example, I deliberately chose to have my first child before getting married. I also wore a pink and purple layered chiffon dress at my first wedding. When I married my second husband, I wore a dress my cousin’s partner made for me, a knee-length 50s-style dress in shades of silver. I do think neurodivergent people more often value individuality in preference to fitting in, and we can be very honest and authentic.
Personally, I do not believe that non-conformity affects our sexuality or gender identity, because I think we are born this way. However, we may be more likely to be more open about our sexuality and gender identity, compared with the general population, so perhaps more of us ‘come out’ as for example bisexual or gender fluid rather than keeping it to ourselves.
Whether or not it is important to state or be open about who you are, as a neurodiverse and/or nongender-conforming person, for example, is very much a personal choice, and depends on your personal boundaries, comfort, and safety. People are more likely to be open about who they are if we all work together to create a culture where everybody is comfortable to be our authentic selves without fear of discrimination and prejudice.
In my view, it is good to ask for definitions of a term you do not fully understand, rather than making assumptions. It is not okay, however, to ask inappropriate probing personal questions. For example, it is not okay to ask a trans person who you are not close to about what gender affirmation treatments they may or may not have had, or about the contents of their underpants. However, asking for pronouns is a good idea. Curiosity is good, but above all we must all respect every individual’s right to privacy and dignity.
Are autistic people not taken seriously about identifying as LGBTQ+?
I have not personally experienced people not taking me seriously for being an autistic person identifying as LGBTQIA+, but I feel if anybody does not take my sexuality seriously, this is more likely to be because they dismiss bisexuality as an experimental phase before settling down. However, I have always been bisexual, and always will be.
I understand that some trans and gender-fluid autistic people may be concerned that being open about their autism may lead to people thinking that being transgender is an autistic trait, which may hinder acceptance.
There is also the ‘eternal child’ bias, where some people assume autistic people are not competent to know our own minds. That is a misconception which needs to be challenged.
It may also hark back to old attitudes from times when sexuality, gender dysphoria and autism were considered mental health problems that could be ‘cured’. We are not quite at the end of the journey to acceptance.
On fluctuations
I have not noticed any real fluctuations to my sexuality since I first became aware of it in my mid-teens. I did not become straight when I married a man; my sexuality is about me, not him. My gender identity and expression have fluctuated between ‘tomboy’, to attempting femininity, to embracing androgyny, and back again.
Autism is a dynamic disability, and the impact of autistic features can vary. This can coincide with hormonal changes, for example sensory sensitivities and brain fog can be exacerbated by puberty, pregnancy, and menopause. The same is true of ADHD, which I also have.
I have more sensory sensitivities and autistic meltdowns of greater severity when I am going through autistic burn-out, a state that resembles clinical depression and happens when I am overwhelmed for extended periods of time.
Challenges that autistic and LGBTQ+ people face
Coupled with the social differences of autism, such as coming across badly at times and having difficulties interpreting neurotypical cues and nuances, at times I have encountered difficulties forming both social friendships and working relationships with other women. Sometimes I have encountered bi-phobia, and my intentions have been misunderstood.
There are many challenges with being autistic in the social and sensory minefield that is the workplace, but with a combination of formal reasonable adjustments and minor changes, an autistic worker can thrive and add tremendous value. I do get overwhelmed when I am in lengthy or frequent meetings, due to the expectation to exhibit professional behaviours and demeanour for extended periods which does require heavy masking.
What can allies do in the workplace to support colleagues who are neurodivergent and identify as LGBTQ+?
This is a huge topic, but here is my list of allyship tips for neurodivergent and bi/pan colleagues:
- Appreciate that neurodivergent employees often have ‘spiky profiles’ with strengths and challenges.
- Avoid ‘othering’ us, and respect our dignity, avoiding intrusive questions.
- Be accommodating regarding our individual sensory needs.
- Be aware the usual jokes and ‘banter’ may be insensitive to some of us.
- Be direct and specific with instructions, avoiding lengthy verbal instructions.
- Be supportive and helpful when we get overwhelmed and overloaded.
- Challenge your expectations around social communication such as small talk.
- Do not assume we are inherently promiscuous, or we cannot commit.
- Educate yourself about harmful stereotypes, myths, and micro-aggressions.
- Let your LGBTQIA+ and Neurodiversity Employee Resource Groups review draft policies and processes for barriers to inclusion.
- Notice meltdowns, shutdowns, and signs of burn-out, and offer compassion.
- Protect and defend us from discrimination, gossip, and bullying.
- Read up on identities and definitions, help us to challenge misconceptions.
- Use ‘Universal Design’ principles, to make work more accessible, for example send job interview questions in advance to everybody.
- Understand the impact of scattered meetings, and ‘task switching’.
In my blogs (see links below), I share allyship tips in more detail:
Being an ally to your neurodivergent colleagues – Ausome Charlie
How to be an ally to bi and pan people – Ausome Charlie
In summary, we each have a role in working together to build a culture of acceptance, where it is not only okay, but safe even, to be open about any differences, challenges, and support needs, an environment where everybody can belong and thrive. Different is okay.
Author Credit: Charlie Hart – Ausome Charlie. Find her website here, and follow her on Linkedin, Facebook & Instagram.
Keen to learn more? Why not join our webinar on Neurodivergence, Sexuality and Gender Identity?
Join AUSOME Charlie, Charlie Hart and Ollie Roscoe, to explore their own lived experiences of neurodivergence, gender identity and sexuality.
This 2 hour webinar will cover:
- How neurodivergence can impact a person’s navigation of their gender identity and sexuality
- Charlie and Ollie’s own lived experiences of these topics
- Tips on how to be an LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent ally
- Advice and ways to support a parent/carer/professional with a child or young person with neurodivergence who is exploring their gender identity and sexuality
