Do you find that your teenager struggles to speak in some situations or environments, when otherwise they speak with ease and clarity? This could mean they are experiencing selective or situational mutism.
For teenagers who are experiencing selective mutism, the issue can be long-standing and complex. We know that they can’t control when it happens but it’s something which can cause upset and frustration for both the teenager themselves and for those supporting them.
To aid your knowledge and give you the confidence to support your teenager, we are hosting a webinar on 22 April with speech and language expert Libby Hill.
Tickets can be secured here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1001260897297

What is selective mutism?
Selective Mutism is considered to be a severe anxiety disorder where an individual becomes unable to speak in certain social situations. However, describing it as an anxiety disorder doesn’t quite help understand the condition. It can be better described as a behaviour that occurs during a situation where an individual does not feel safe. Behaviour is communication, and in knowing that we can seek to know what the cause of this behaviour is.
Situational Mutism is a much more apt way to describe it. A situation triggers a freeze response where an individual loses the ability to communicate verbally.
It is NOT a conscious decision to not talk
It is NOT elective
It IS a form of communication that needs are not met
It can be a TRAUMA response
The difference between anxiety and hypervigilance?
Knowing the difference between anxiety and hypervigilance is key to understanding Selective Mutism.
When we experience anxiety, that is our bodies way of alerting us of danger.
When we become hypervigilant, we are assuming that danger is already there which creates a state of constant anxiety.
Signs of Selective Mutism
- Only speaking in certain situations/around certain or familiar people
- Shyness or being withdrawn in social situations
- Experiencing meltdowns at home
- Poor co-ordination, being tense
- Avoidance of social situations
- Anxiety
- Hypervigilance
- Low mood
- Nonverbal communication to express needs (nodding head, pointing, etc)
- Avoiding eye contact, lack of expression or movement
Feeling safe in your environment
Key to supporting teenagers with selective mutism is to make their environment feel safe. There are several ways we can do that:
- Desensitisation – creating gradual exposure to social situations in where speech would be expected. For example, socialising in small groups with familiar people.
- Positive Reinforcement – Not patronising but celebrating small wins to create that safe space of positive reinforcement.
- Building Social Skills – However, not all people want to be sociable. Some may struggle to make connections/friends, but ask, do they really want them? We don’t want to encourage masking/fawning.
- Anxiety-focussed support – There are so many techniques designed to manage and reduce anxiety. Everyone is different so everyone will respond better to different things.
- Understanding Trauma – Whether trauma is the cause of the Selective Mutism or there has been trauma from having Selective Mutism, having a better understanding will help recovery. We have a great video covering Trauma here. We have an informative blog here too.
Want to learn even more:
In our webinar on 22 April, Libby Hill will be covering the following which will be so useful to you if selective mutism is something which your child struggles with:
- How does Selective Mutism in teenagers present itself?
- Why the approaches used in the younger years don’t work
- How do we choose the right therapy and who’s involved?
- Why access to education is impaired and how you can help
- Practical ways that we can help a young person with Selective Mutism
- Libby will also share her own ongoing research into this hugely important, but often misunderstood, presentation.
Tickets can be secured here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1001260897297